The Facts of Life.

      I have the pleasure of having a sister. She is ten. Naturally, being a mere child. She talks all the time. (A trait we both seem to share.) Part of her growing up is her incessant question asking. Why this? Why that? Are pregnant golfish really called twits? Can ducks really breathe out of their bums? (The answer to both of those is yes) Do narwhals really exist? (Dang straight they do) See? Always asking questions. Most recently though, her questions have got down to the "nitty gritty."(Nacho Libre quote) Like...this.

"Mishae, when will I hit puberty?" 

*shudder* The "P" word already?! "You're like ten Ashlin. Don't worry about that yet" *eye twitch*

"But really. I want to know. How do I know when I finally hit *&%$#!@"  (censored because the fact that my little sister knows what that means, FREAKS ME OUT) 

Now, when the conversation hits this part, I'm yelling at her to just go to bed already and stop asking me questions. As I roll over and have a little spaz attack. *spasm* But I have to face this. So I tell her loads of junk that is really a blur and not worth mentioning. It's a little awkard TO mention. Besides, I like to keep my blog at a family friendly rating. And I give her details and it's all very disgusting. But the reason I am blogging this, is because sometimes. Well. Life happens. And you have to deal with it. My little sister is growing up. And it scares the crunch outta me. But that is a Fact of Life.  Your siblings will grow up. And it's scary. Ducks can breathe out of their bums. And THAT is scary. Sometimes you have to face the inevitable, because that's life. So my advice is to relax. Things will happen. Your little sister will grow up. She might get bigger than you. (in more places than one. *shudder*) And that's life. But you need to go with the flow. Eat some chocolate. (Heck yes I do) and when the inevitable happens, be able to look yourself in the mirror and say:
                             "That's my Life"

When I get old and lose my hair....

     Everyone thinks of growing old. Plans out their life, what they'll do, who they'll become. I do this. Very often. I look forward to the future and often day dream. blah blah blah. Here is my story:

1996-Escape from womb
2009-Become a teen
2011-Write this post.
2011-2046-Live life, get married, have kids. (this timeline entry is very vague seeming how I am not a fortune teller and cannot fully predict my own future)
2046-Turn the big 5-0.

And this is my day dream part of the story I will tell you about. I will be one of those stankin' awesome grandma's that is cool enough to still run around the yard with my grand children. I will have this house: (or something that looks like it)




sigh......

On my porch I will have a porch swing and serve this beverage:



Who DOESN'T love lemonade?

Also I will serve cupcakes and muffins and cookies and candy and chocolate. Feel free so come to my house in 35 years and partake of this haven of treats.
As well as this stuff, I will still have a rockin' body and not have wrinkles (this statement is very bold and proves my point as how this is my DREAM)
I would also like to own a dresss like this:

I will pair this with a gold charm bracelet and red flats.

Now take a moment and picture this. (1.....2.....3.....)(that was your moment) 'Tis quite beautiful. Is it not? And this is my dream for when I'm fifty and have lived half my life. But for now...

That's My Life.

Slice of Pie.

      You know when life just shoves a pie in your face. You know? Like a huge piece of embarressment pie. That's really the only piece of pie I seem to get from life. Occasionally I get a piece of cake. Not often. (If you haven't noticed, this post is totally full of puns. If you don't know what that is feel free to click on the link for education and double reading fun. You're welcome.) So here is my story about the other day when sweet dear life chose to serve me up a nice piece of embarressment pie.
              'Twas a splendid day in October. The bell just rang to signal the end of the day and merry students were prancing along to get along to their sweet homes angry teens were shoving eachother to get the heck out of school. I had my binder, my biology book and this:

It's a donation box for UNICEF*. I carry it around like a hobo asking for donations.

So I have my binder and my book in one arm and the cute little box in the other. I decide to take the 'no-taker' stairs. (Hardly any one takes these stairs. I like them. ALOT) So I turn the corner to take the stairs and merrily start going up them. I stop for a split second and look up. Because I like to do that sometimes. Look up. (You're welcome) And right as I do that, just ironically life decides to put a cute  totally smokin' *guy right in my line of vision. Usually I would smile at him, ogle a bit and thank life later for the honor of being in that sweet sweet mans' (is any one really a man in high school? boy? guy? male?  meh) presence. I do all these things. Except for the last part. As I look back down again, my mind is so preoccupied with the fact that this male is going to pass me at any moment. Dang was I excited. And as my mind cannot multitask without having some kind of overload, my mind decides to eliminate my bodies ability to walk. Thank you life. *sarcasm* So, as life quite enjoys throwing pie in my face. (or a face full of stairs) I trip. UP the stairs. I kinda looked like this:

Except not becuase it was UP.

My books and binder go across the landing. My UNICEF box falls out of my hand and half the money falls out of it's little slot and rolls noisily down the stairs. Clink Clink Clink. And I even make a little sound. Kind of like this: "Oomf. Ahhhh. *inaudible whispering*" Imagine my horror. My shock. My dread to look back up and see what that boys reaction to it all. I quickly look up. And here's the crazy part. He's gone. Like I'm sure he already passed me and didn't see a thing. (man oh man how I hope he didn't see it)  So, I pick up my things, scrimage my money and put it safely back in it's little slot and walk slowly up the rest of the stairs. Done. Over. Just like that. As I walk to my locker I pass a window. I look at my reflection. My face is bright red. And do you know what I do? I laugh. LAUGH. I had to. That was such a movie-moment in life, I bust out laughing. I'm no longer embarressed. (Take that LIFE) and I just laugh. At myself. And that jerk of a guy who didn't help me up. And most of all, my stupidity for letting a boy to mess with my head like that enought to the point where I can't even walk up stairs. Ah, Life. You really did good. So here is my advice to y'all. Enjoy your pie. Life is gonna shove it in your face. Lick it off. Eat it up. And laugh. (Seriously, whoever doesn't take this advice is dumb not so smart. It involves metaphoric eating and laughing. For real.) Just go with the flow and do what I did. In a situation like that, laugh. Don't let embaressement pie and life get the best of you.
                                          That's my life.

*Feel free to donate to UNICEF treat or treat boxes. 'Tis a great cause.
*It's funny because I don't even remember what he looked like.

Oh television....

So. Any one watched Disney Channel lately?  Oh? No? Why ever not? Oh that's right. IT SUCKS. This sentence truly is heartbreaking. But alas my friends. 'Tis true. Disney Channel sucks. Nickelodeon sucks. TV truly just (well not just. it's been like this for a while) hit rock bottom. It's tasteless. Not humorous and every character is a total moron with gazillions of dollars replacing real talent and brains. Sad huh? (Although I guess I would enjoy gazillions of dollars in my wallet....) for example:


Any one seen this? Yes? Too bad.

Now I've watched this a few times. Yeah...it's dumb. Would like that hour of my life back. But I do have something positive to say. The girl China. She is my favorite. She can actually sing. Unlike most all young actresses these days. Hooray for 21st century!


Hey guys! Lets all act like idiots! All the time! Yay!

 This show I refuse to watch. My little brothers will turn it on and I will leave the room. Sorry Carly. *insert chuckle* It fries my brain cells as I watch it.


See what I mean?

The only consolation for all this craziness though? THIS SHOW.



Even looking at this you smile. I know. The amazingness is just too much to handle.

 Say what you will about how this show is unrealisitic and for eight year olds. I LOVE IT. I actually do watch this. (When it's on. And if I have time. And my brothers aren't hogging the remote. Whoa. Come to think of if I rarely even watch this show. Oh well) Phineas is hilarious. Ferb is adorable. PLUS when he talks he has an accent! Score! And Candace and Jeremy are too funny. This is the only childrens show worth watching. For serious.
          Now that you have wasted five minutes of your life reading this totally pointless post: Go and watch Phineas and Ferb and enjoy your UEA weekend. Go procrastinate something. That's what I do ;)
And remember: Be yourself. Unless you suck.
                                                           That's my life.

Don't let your ship sink.

Almost everyone has seen the timeless classic of  'Titanic' right? Featuring the bouncing waterfall of ginger hair know as Kate Winslet and the oh-so-handsome face of the heartthrob Leonardo Dicaprio. The vocal talents of Celine Dion and the traumatizing scenes (yet so remembered by the media) of naked lady pictures and hand prints on foggy windows. Of "flying" on the front of a ship, and last but not least, the last two hours of the film showcasing the horror of that night in 1912. The screaming people, the clangs of the sinking ship and the frozen bodies of 1000+ people that were without a life boat. Ahhhhh. Great show huh?

Are your insides jiggling with excitement to go watch this again?

Any who...While BYU fans were screaming out in the cold, I was inside my house (my grandparents house) like a boss like a loser, watching this film. Did I love it? Yes. Did I also hate it? Yes. Now, I'm not a hugo fan of endings of movies that make me feel like crap inside. You know, the movies that leave you with a sick feeling and you are kinda afraid to go on a boat? Those feelings. Not a fan. But do I realize that this was a real thing that happened a hundred years ago. Yes. And I want to cry. I want to cry for those people that night that had to go through that experience of the Titanic. It makes me feel so sorry for them. So, to get over these feelings, I focus on the love of Rose and Jack. Is it a plausible love story? No. Do I love and believe it? Absolutely. Ah, to be Jack and Rose and fall in a passionate love only to be ruined a couple days later by a careless ship builder. What a life. Much like our friends Romeo and Juliet, their love story ended in tragedy. *Sigh* life is tough. Any who...there is a point to this post.
          After watching this movie, it really makes me want to get out there in life you know?  To live it and just let go of the stupid cares of a crazy world. To make my life an adventure and to live it to the fullest. Because you never know when your ship is going to hit an iceburg. And even if it does, hop on a life boat, take advantage of the rest of your life. Don't go down without a fight. Even if it means almost freezing to death and laying on a door for a night (people who have watched the move will get the metaphor) you will be rescued. (cue inspiring quote of some Apostle) Does that all make sense? Just...live life to the fullest and make every second count. You never know when the last few hours of your life are passing away. And that's my spiel. (is that how you spell that? Ah, who cares.) So get out there people! Kiss a stranger, trek through a jungle, shake a lions paw. Travel the world (but please refrain for traveling via cruise. You never know what will happen....) See the pyramids. Get out there! And Don't let your ship sink. Amen.

                                                 That's my life.

Why must you do that?

       Did any one else know that in Utah the teen pregnancy rate is four to five times higher than any state in the US? Hmmm? Seriously people. You are sixteen stinkin' years old. Why the crap do you have a baby?! So I want to tell you a little story of what happened today. When: approximately 12:54. (Yes, I'm totally a time nazi) Where: Pleasant Grove High School. (Odin hallway. That's right, I'm a hall nazi too)  So here I am, walking along, innocent little me of a mere fifteen years of age. While I walk I people watch. (seriously, who doesn't do that?) So I'm prancing along to the drudgery of Biology and I see this: A girl, maybe 16 or 17, holding a BABY. So I'm like "alright, okay. The chick has a baby."  And I think nothing of it. Ha. Like it's normal to have BABY in school. Whatevs. And then I hear this:

Girl that looks like a total punk with an earring on her face: "Where the *edited* are you taking my kid?"


Other chick holding BABY: "The bell rang I gotta go to class" (Psh. Cuz' normal people have babies in class all the time. What is wrong with people?!)


GTLLATPWAEOHF: "No you're *edited* not! I don't want my *edited* kid in there!!"

         At this point I'm in total shock because my naive mind is trying to process everything that just happened. Here's what I came up with; GTLLATPWAEOHF had a BABY. And she brought her said BABY to school. See why I was freaking out? Now I'm not going to judge peoples life decisions or habits. The only reason why I'm posting this is well, I basically had nothing else to say. BUT, I feel so bad for that child. I seriously wanted to take it away with me so he could be protected from everything. Protected from peoples dumb decisions to do things at the wrong time. And that's what I wanted to share today. Now any teens reading this. Please just....Be Safe. (literally)
                                                     That's (not) my life.

Pffffff!

Does any one know what that sound is? It's me. Blowing my nose. For the gazillionth time. I'm assuming that everyone has been sick before. Everyone has had to blow their nose and sneeze and cough and wear that smelly rubby stuff on your chest so you can breath during the night. Is it fun? I think not. No one likes it. Especially me. Seriously, it's bad enough that I have to go to school daily and be exposed to door handles and locker handles and stair rails. And air. So no wonder I get sick right? Everything is seriously germ infested. It's disgusting. But because of all the filth coating everything in this entire world, you get sick. And then I have to go back to the germ incubator and now be expected to do work. I'm miserable enough. For real. But I still have to go to school and work and sing and be expected to do my best at everything I do. But I'm sick. And I don't want to. But I do. And I have to use a marillion (you like that word huh? I just made it up) tissues because of the mucus coming out of my nasal cavity. Sounds fun eh? And...
                                                     That's my life.



Well, until I get better :)

Procrastination to the max

      Every adult (especially the parent kind) always assume that teenagers are "soooo Lazy" to save you all a trouble from acutally thinking about this matter I will just confirm this statement right now. Teenagers, are infact. Lazy. Not all. Definately not. A lot have jobs and work and yada yada yada. I had a job. A pretty spankin' good one too. I loafed it. But I simply moved away from it. Unfortunately, I have not had the good luck to get  new one. (or the energy to look for one. See? LAZY) Any who....but most teens are lazy. Sorry adolescents but you know 'tis true. Besides, what are you doing right now? On the computer reading this blog most likely procrastinating homework or some other treacherous sounding thing that you never have the "energy" to do. Dang, I'm right aren't I? Well, to show you all a bit into MY world of laziness and procrostination, I will now take you on a journey to some of the best websites to help you along your quest of being  being ne'er-do-wells.
        Dear Blank, Please Blank. Four little words. 20 letters and then a happy little dot com at the end and you have hours worth of procrastination to the max. Along with a few late assignments a couple undone chores and maybe a couple angry parents. No big deal right? WRONG. I am LAZY. I spend forever on this site. DAILY. It's disgusting. Wanna try it? Because I kinda think you do...Dear Blank Please Blank  You're welcome.

           And what's even more repulsive. There is more. Facebook. (I will choose to refrain from giving you the link to this because odds are, you have one. We all have the same problem here people) F my life. Hilarious. My life is average.  Totally Boss. (FYI: my life is average will totally make you feel normal and well....average. 'Tis quite grand) Now at this point, you might be shaking that little head of yours and totally ignore the fact that I could be lazy, well, newsflash. I am. Don't get me wrong, I do my homework and clean my house (quite regularly acutally...) and go outside for excercise and what not, but I do have a sluggish (yes I just used that word) side to me. Shocking? Shouldn't be. If you even want to see it, this is most likely what I look like while doing it:

Ooo. This is so addicting. Must. Stay on. Longer.

And in reality, I'm sure we all look like that sometimes. Half of you are in that same position, looking exactly like this. Right now. People today spend hours procrastinating and spending hours on a computer. I do. (Not that I'm proud) You're lazy. I'm lazy.

                                   That's my life.

P.S.  I typed this post when I was supposed to be doing my Algebra. Procrastination to the Max? I think yes.

Guess what?

I completely aware that absolutely no one reads this blog. Oh well. But whatever...I have decided to start writing/typing on it once again. Don't that sound grrrreat? But there is one bit of a problem....My life, is boring. So my posts will be (any guesses?) boring. Now won't this be a treat to read? Buuuuuuut. To make it spicy for every one to read I will actually talk about something today (Ooo what Mishae what?) Well my invisible and non-existant blog followers. One word. SHOES. I love them. I want more. Will I get more? No. BUT. Check out these babies:

Eh, Eh? You like?

You See them? You like them? I have them. And they are my favorite shoes in the world. For real. And they are super comfortable too. It's like a bowling shoe with a cute twist right? Any who....That will be all for my posts for probably a really long time today. I really hope that someone actually read this. For real? Just look how cute the shoe is? Wasn't it totally worth looking at? No? Oh well then. Too bad. And.....

                                                                That's my Life.

Braces

I need braces. Bet you didn't know that did ya? Well, in case you've noticed, (you kinda have to look for it) but, my smile is crooked. It doesn't even out, ever. To tell the truth I kinda want braces but whenever I tell someone that, they scream that I'm insane. My mom says that one day, I'll get them. But then, if I really do hate them, then I'll just have to be a fifteen year old wearing braces. Ugh. How utterly unattractive is that? So, if any of you want to try to help me to persuade her, go ahead. BUT it has to be AFTER March 28. I repeat AFTER!